Played six, won six. If Carlsberg did west London football…

If Carlsberg did west London football weeks, they couldn’t have scripted the last seven days any better.

The record of the area’s four top teams in that period reads played six, won six, scored 14.

Chelsea might have qualified for a Champions League semi-final showdown with Barcelona in the process, but it’s Brentford who are the real Bees’ knees, having won four on the bounce – including impressive away victories at Preston and MK Dons.

Uwe Rosler’s side are still five points adrift of the play-offs but if the Easter bunny is kind to them over the next few days, anything is possible.

“There was typically not an Arsenal shirt in sight when we got home on Saturday.”

‘Brickie chap’ on the Griffin Park Grapevine forum was forced to miss the latest triumph over Oldham to attend his mate’s 60th in a pub, but was cannily keeping up to date with proceedings via his phone.

He wrote: “I nearly gave the fella a heart attack as I jumped up and shouted out ‘Get in there!’ when we went one up. The rest of the boozer sat there looking confused as they watched the Barca game!”

Meanwhile ‘Bee4ever’ was laughing at “a number of middle-aged men sitting in the paddock, intermittently bursting into solo songs with no one else joining in”.

I started to smile too, until I got the horrible feeling that when he said ‘middle-aged’ they were probably younger than me.

Fulham moved into 10th place in the Premier League with a 2-1 win over Norwich, but their fans are more concerned with the Easter Monday showdown against Chelsea at Craven Cottage.

Fulham are unbeaten in Premier League West London derbies this season after getting a draw at the Bridge, together with a 7-0 aggregate win over QPR (I wrote that through gritted teeth).

A poster on the Cottage Corner messageboard confidently predicted “We can beat Chelsea on Monday.”

Rosler's Bees are flying.

When another user asked how, he replied: “Score more goals than them.”

How Aston Villa and Benfica must wish they’d adopted that brilliant tactical plan over these past few days.

Villa were humbled 4-2 at home by the Blues while Benfica lost 2-1 in a crazy game in SW6 which could have finished 7-7.

Not for the first time in this season’s Champions League, Chelsea didn’t make it easy for themselves, repelling wave after wave of attacks before Frank Lampard steadied the nerves with a trademark penalty.

But when Benfica pulled one back after Ramires had somehow managed to step over the ball a yard out at the other end, Stamford Bridge turned into a quivering mass, before Raul Meireles’ late strike finally put things to bed.

To qualify for the Champions League next season, Chelsea would need to overturn a five-point gap in the league, which is pretty big at this stage of the season.

Or they can beat Barcelona over two legs before seeing off Real Madrid or Bayern Munich to lift the trophy and qualify automatically.

Suddenly that five-point gap doesn’t look quite as big after all.

Lampard's penalty proved vital.

The last time Barca were in west London they did a spot of training at QPR’s ground ahead of a trip to Arsenal – which brings us nicely to events at Loftus Road on Saturday.

Adel Taarabt made it 69th time lucky by finally breaking his duck for the season with a brilliant goal, before grabbing a crafty smoke with Marouane Chamakh in a shisha café.

Mark Hughes gave him a mild rebuke but when all’s said and done it’s only fruit tobacco and Adel would argue he was simply having one of his five a day.

I’ve got nothing against the Gunners – my Nan and Grandad were Highbury season-ticket holders, and my mum veers between Arsenal and Spurs (despite being born in Hammersmith), while loads of my mates are Gooners, together with most of the north London street where I live in exile.

Which made that little 2-1 victory last weekend all the sweeter.

Year after year I’ve headed to Finsbury Park Station en route to Loftus Road and walked past the pub where the Arsenal fans are gathered to be met with polite/patronising enquiries: “Who have you got today?” ”What league are you in these days?” “How come you don’t support a proper team?”

There was typically not an Arsenal shirt in sight when we got home on Saturday.

I was particularly pleased my little girl was there to witness the victory, particularly after briefing her beforehand to expect the worst.

Most of her class are Arsenal ‘fans’ (even though they’ve never been to see them play) and were laughing beforehand about how many they were going to stick past little old QPR…well they’re not laughing now.

The only thing she does not quite get is the embarrassing dad routine that accompanies the goals, as adults revert to childhood, while their offspring tell them to calm down.

Taking this on board, the first thing I did when we got to our seats was to apologise to the fella next to me for planting a smacker on his cheek during the victory over Liverpool, assuring him it wouldn’t happen again.

And then Samba Diakite went and ruined everything by scoring the winner.

We’re now on first-name terms and he’s insisted that if it means we’re winning games I can carry on kissing for the rest of the season.

Thank the Lord there’s only three games left.

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