Going nuts for Jose

As a squirrel stole the show at Loftus Road, Chelsea fans were going nuts for Jose Mourinho.

The Special One is firmly in the frame for a return to Stamford Bridge after Andre-Villas Boas was finally put of his misery by Roman Abramovich.

The Russian oligarch has employed more managers at Chelsea than he has children (and he has a lot of children) but none has hit him harder in the pocket than AVB. 

With various compensation fees, wages and the hiring of manager number nine taken into account – assuming Roberto Di Matteo does not get the job full-time – the Portuguese will have cost Abramovich the best part of £50m, according to estimates.

“Pavel Pobrebnyak – you know he’s doing well when you can spell his name without consulting Wikipedia.”

According to my estimates, that’s the equivalent of me finding a fiver down the back of the sofa, so I’m not feeling too sorry for him.

Fans on the messageboards were buzzing with speculation that Mourinho might be making an emotional return after reports of him house-hunting in London.

Mind you, any living manager spotted within a 10-mile radius of the Thames is automatically in the frame if you’re a red-top journalist.

As I mentioned last week, Mourinho would be a nightmare appointment for me. I’m a big fan of the silver-tongued Portuguese and found it strangely uncomfortable liking someone in charge of Chelsea the last time he was at the helm.

I certainly didn’t share the same feelings for his countryman, who for most of his brief tenure came across as a prickly dullard.

Towards the end I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him as he began to look more and more like a third-former who’d wandered into the sixth form common room by mistake.

And I did quite like his prophetic opening gambit upon being appointed Chelsea manager: “I am not the Special One… maybe I will be the s*** one.”

The strangest AVB comment came from my other half who, upon learning of his departure, remarked: “That’s another good-looking manager gone from the Premier League, then.”

Rattled by the squirrel.

Now I get Mourinho and (at a push) Mancini – but AVB, dishy?

With his little features and bushy beard he reminded me of a woodland animal, which takes us nicely back to the star of the show at Loftus Road.

It’s not as if QPR-Everton was a boring game, but when a squirrel bounded on to the hallowed turf midway through the first half, the football match suddenly became incidental.

It was as if 18,000 people had never seen a squirrel before, such was the hysteria engulfing the ground.

The little fella was greeted with non-stop chants as he revelled in his 15 minutes of fame.

“Squirrel, squirrel, give us a wave!”, “You’re only here for the squirrel!” and “Sign him up!” are three that stick in the mind as the bemused players attempted to get on with the game.

Rangers right-back Nedum Onuoha was unnerved by the whole experience, admitting: “I didn’t like it – it was weird and it put me off the game a bit. I didn’t know whether it was onside or offside!”

I must confess to getting a little caught up in the furore myself, using my seven-year-old daughter as a handy excuse while I wildly pointed in its direction screaming: “Can you see him?” “There he is!” “Look, he’s in the goal!”

After taking an initial interest she looked at me and the surrounding adults as if to say: “It’s only a squirrel – grow up you clowns!”

As for the game itself, it was a much-improved performance from QPR. With a bit of luck and some better finishing they would have nicked it as Buzsaky, Taarabt and Zamora carved open the usually reliable Everton back four.

Not a man to be messed with.

And while Marouanne Fellaini put in a performance even bigger than his hair (you can tell a visiting player is causing problems when all around you are shouting obscenities at him) for me the man of the match was Clint Hill.

His name might appear as Mr CHill on his bank card but I certainly wouldn’t fancy meeting him in the proverbial dark alley.

The same can be said of Fulham powerhouse Pavel Pogrebnyak – you know he’s doing well when you can spell his name without consulting Wikipedia – who scored the perfect hat-trick in the 5-0 demolition of Wolves.

Pobregnyak, who has notched five goals in three games since his arrival, has been warmly praised by team-mates and pundits alike – although having seen him at close quarters they’d be advised to do that even when he has a stinker.

From looking like they were going to be sucked into the relegation dogfight a few weeks ago, Fulham now sit proudly in eighth place, despite having played 44 games already this season.

Martin Jol will no doubt be instructing them to pick up a few cards between now and the end of the campaign – just in case the Fair Play League rears its ugly head again.

As for Brentford, their week started and finished badly, with some good news in the middle.

A disappointing defeat at Yeovil was followed by another Saido Berahino masterclass in the win over Exeter, before fans were hit with the bombshell that top scorer Gary Alexander was on his way to Crawley.

I wonder what first attracted him to the multi-millionaire Sussex outfit?

We can’t end on a miserable note, though, so the last word goes to our furry friend.

When Buszaky somehow contrived to hit the post when it was easier to score, the following chant immediately rang out: “You should have passed to the squirrel!” Genius.

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